cry yourself to sleep
by tabbycat44
Summary: Alyssa is over come with greif for her brother, her parents solution, send her to a certain boarding school in france.
1. Default Chapter

_**Chapter 1**_

It was the day I'd been dreading, dreading for the past week, well at least the part where I was conscious. I slowly stood up and stumbled, shakily to the chair in my room, it held the clothes my mom had grabbed for me the other night. I wasn't able to, this is the first time I walked since it happened.

" Lissy? Can I come in?" I nodded, then realized that wouldn't help.

" Yeah." I croaked out, the first word I'd spoken. My mother burst in ready to freak about me speaking, then she saw me standing, well, half standing (I was leaning against the dresser.)

" Henry! Hurry! Alyssa's standing!" my dad came running in. he hurried over and helped me.

" That's my girl." In case you couldn't tell, I'm Alyssa, or Lissy, just never Lissa! I pushed him away.

" I got it." I said. They left the room and I got dressed. I stumbled my way to the living room where my parents were waiting. We were going to a funeral, the funeral I had hoped I wouldn't live to see, the funeral of my older brother, Stewart.

Cry yourself to sleep cry yourself to sleep Cry yourself to sleep cry yourself to sleep 

In the car I fell asleep, wish I hadn't.

'_That was the best concert ever!'_

'_I know, that tempo, those beats! The best!'_

'_Yeah, why can't you use cool songs like that when you skate?'_

' _Because, I'm not good enough to skate fast enough for those songs.'_

' _Lissa, you can skate to anything, you're the best skater I know.'_

' _Really?' then came the bright lights 'STEWART!'_

Then I woke up, screaming.

" Lissy! It's okay, it was only a dream, it was only a dream." My mom said reaching back to stoke my long golden hair. Stewart had loved my hair. I know the way I talked about him, and that sorta stuff may seem incestuous, but it's not, we were just close. I sat quietly until we got to the funeral home. I got out of the car and walked in with my parents by my side. I made it through about half before I couldn't take anymore. I did the only thing I could think of, ran.

Cry yourself to sleep Cry yourself to sleep Cry yourself to sleep Cry yourself to sleep 

I ran, and kept running until I got to my favorite place in the world, the ice rink. Yes, I, Alyssa Hollyfeild want to be a champion ice skater. Anyways, I ran into the changing room and opened my locker, yes I was there so much the owner gave me my own locker. I put on my skates, and for some odd reason, my skating outfit, it was white with long flowing sleeves, the skirt didn't even make it mid-thigh, what was that expression 'Ice Princess' used? Oh, Twinkie little outfits. I hurried out, some big guy got in my way.

" We have the rink reserved."

" I don't care." I said moving around him. I ran to the owner and told him to play my music.

" Lissy, he did reserve the rink."

" I don't care! Just play the music, please." I said, knowing I was crying. He nodded and I got on the ice. I began the routine. (Yeah, the music is the Inuyasha theme song) I was almost halfway through, and was about to do a double, but I didn't jump high enough and ended up slipping. I just lay there, on the cold ice, crying.

" Lissy!" I heard called from the front door, my dad came. I could hear him make his way toward the ice, he had worn tap shoes, why? They were the only black shoes he had.

" Lissy, it's okay, the funeral's over, now, lets go home and, WOAH!" he yelled as he slipped. Tow of the boys that were with the big guy skated over and helped him up. Then he slipped again, long story short, he finally made his way to me and we left and went home.

A/N yeah, it was angsty, but it get better, trust me, I have it planned in my head. I know it also looks like I stole the idea of 'Raise you Voice' and 'Ice Princess' and yes, those inspired my story, and yes, I'm BORROWING their ideas, but it's a fan fic, so THERE! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ! YEAH, I'M HYPED UP ON SUGAR!


	2. chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

_**Three weeks later**_

It had officially been one month since the accident, and I was still a wreck. I hadn't gone to school, I rarely left my room. I shut down. Then on the anniversary of all days my mother comes in with a trunk, and my dad comes with like, three more. My mom opened my closet and began to pack my clothes.

" What are you doing?" I asked hoarsely.

" Alyssa, we are tired of you laying here feeling sorry for yourself. We are sending you to a boarding school. It's in France, so there won't be anyone, or anything to remind you of Stewart. The school is called Kadic middle school. You will go there, and at least pretend you're happy." Mom said.

" I don't want to go!"

" I don't want you laying in bed the rest of your life. Henry, take the girl to the ice rink so she can get her skating stuff."

" You can't make me go!"

" Like hell I can't" my dad actually picked me up and carried me to the car. I began screaming. He shoved me in the back seat and drove off. We got to the rink and he picked me back up. We must have been a sight. A full-grown man carrying a screaming and kicking teenage girl, who was still in her pajamas, into the ice rink. I kept screaming until we got to the changing room. Dad shoved me in there and told me to get my stuff. I considered just staying in there, but I was getting cold, I was wearing red pajama pants and a black tank top for crying out loud! I was also barefoot and use to the warm feel of blankets all around me. The girls in there were staring, I probably looked like I just woke from the dead, at least I didn't stink, the only time I left my room was to shower and brush my teeth. I had serious problems with being dirty, meaning, I couldn't stand it. Anyways, so I opened my locker, all that was in there were two other leotards, a brush and a hair tie, and… a picture of Stewart and me. I picked up the picture and held it close. I'll admit, I was ridiculously close to my brother, but he was my mentor, my skating teacher, and my director, he recorded everything. I wondered what happened to the recorder. By then I was freezing my skinny tail off, so I walked out the door and passed by my dad without saying a word, I opened the back door and plopped in, refusing to speak, or even look at him. We got home and mom grabbed my skating things and shoved them in one of the trunks then put them all in the trunk and they drove me too the airport, I couldn't take it, it was all happening too fast! My head was spinning, my dad dragged my in to the airport and I decided if I was going, I was going with a fight, so, I began to scream again. People turned to stare at the girl freaking out, namely, me. Some looked away, embarrassed for my parents and me, others continued to watch.

" Alyssa, stop screaming this instant, you are not four-years-old!"

" Exactly! And that means you can't tell me what to do!"

" Just because you're not four doesn't mean you're an adult!"

" Oh, and what exactly makes an adult?"

" Being able to except responsibilities, like going to boarding school?"

" Yeah! What about you? You don't want the responsibility of dealing with your own daughter!" I screamed. Then came the tears, I HATE tears! Mainly because I'm over-stalked on them. I turned away and sunk down, inadvertently making my parents feel bad (did I use that right?)

" Lissy, we aren't trying to get out of dealing with you, we just think it would be better for you to get out of here, where there are things to remind you of your brother." That didn't work; it just brought on more tears. My dad, again, picked me up and carried me onto the plane, while mom checked my stuff into baggage. I heard my dad talking to a stewardess.

" I want someone to stay with her until she's picked up."

" Oui, mister." I turned to her.

" Are you French or American?" she ignored me. Dad left and the plane took off. The stewardess walked off, I glared after her. She started tending to a cute, 20-year-old man. I just had to say something, she made me mad!

" He's too young for you!" I called down the isle. The lady glared daggers and the guy blushed and looked uncomfortable. I smirked, I was a crybaby, but man, I could make people mad. Someone started picking on Stewart and well, trust me, they never did it again. She's still picking pudding out of her ears. I smirked in memory. Then I remembered, I'm on a plane, she could throw me out, ouch. Well, she'd be fired, and I'd be with Stewart, hmm… nah, if I'm going to die, I don't want it to be painful. I'm a wimp. Besides, I'm over the thoughts of suicide.

Cry yourself to sleep Cry yourself to sleep Cry yourself to sleep Cry yourself to sleep

After what seemed like forever, we landed. True to her word, the evil stewardess had someone stay with me. Until this big guy with a band-aid came up to us.

" Are you Alyssa Hollyfeild?"

" Sadly."

" Come on." He drove me to the school, he said he'd take my stuff to my room and he gave me my schedule and sent me to class. I walked around confused, until I found a room with the door marked 'Health'.

" There we go." I walked in and handed the teacher a card that the guy had gave me.

" Okay, class, this is Lissa Hollyfeild." A felt myself pale; I don't know if that's possible, but I did. I bit my lip to keep from crying.

" It's Alyssa." I said my voice shaking.

" Oh, my thumb was covering the first part." The teacher said chuckling. I took a seat and began to slightly shake.

" Well' what were we talking about? OH! Drunk driving." I stiffened; the driver that hit us was drunk. She began to talk, then I raised me hand.

" Yes?"

" May I be excused for a moment?"

" No not right now."

" Please, may I be excused?" I said starting to shake again.

"I said-"

" PLEASE!" I shouted and began crying.

" O.k." she said. I ran to the door, opened it then closed it behind me. Then I sank to the floor and cried.

A/N I lied, this was angsty too, oh well. R&R, P&T!


	3. chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

'I've got to make it through the day, then I can have a breakdown.' I thought to myself as I made my way to lunch. I got some unidentified food-like object (huh, UFO) and I sat down. I began to poke at the large yellow blob and I swear it stared at me. I heard someone clear their throat. I looked up to see an ugly looking girl with a big forehead glared at me.

" You're sitting at my table." She said.

" Don't care, go away."

" I don't think you heard me. You're sitting at my table."

" Listen you wannabe black haired Barbie, I don't care, go away." Yeah, I later found out it was actually the table that Odd, Yumi, Ulrich, Jeremie and Aelita sit at.

" This is my table and if you don't leave I'll be forced to take drastic measures."

" Hmm… remind me to be scared." I said looking back down at the Blob.

" Are you ignoring me?"

" I do believe I am." I said. Then the people that actually sit there came up.

" Hey Sissi, come out from under your rock?" Odd said. The girl opened her mouth but walked away. I stuck my tongue out at her.

" So, you're the new girl."

" I know." I said not looking up, but giving the Blob a death glare. I stood up and threw my tray away. Then I sat back down.

" So… why were you crying in health?"

" No reason."

" People don't cry for no reason."

" I do."

" That's not normal."

" Gee thanks."

" Oh! I didn't mean it that way! I meant-" Odd started but I cut him off.

" So, who are you?"

" Oh, I'm Odd Della Robbia. That's Ulrich Stern, Yumi Ishiyama, Jeremie Belpois, and Aelita Lyoko."

" Lyoko? Where are you from?"

" Umm… somewhere."

" Mmm… that narrows it down." I said.

" So what do you have next?" Odd asked.

" I have no idea." I said getting out my schedule. " Math."

" Good, I have that too." Man, was he persistent! I got up and started off. He followed I took a deep breath, yeah, I'm an emotional mess I can never have 'slight emotions' I have full blown, can never be half butt emotions! I was about to turn a corner when he stopped me.

" You don't go that way."

"Excuse me?"

" That's not how to get to the math room."

" Oh, right." I said and turned back.

Cry yourself to sleep Cry yourself to sleep Cry yourself to sleep Cry yourself to sleep

After all my classes I went to the room number that was on my paper. On the way I ran into Barbie (Sissi).

" What are you doing here?" she asked.

" I live here." I said

" Great even more riff-raff." She said then walked into her room.

" What did she just call me?" I wondered out loud.

" Riff-raff." I whipped around; it was the people from lunch.

" Um, hi, why are you following me?" yeah, I'm rude.

" We aren't we just, umm… wanted to…talk?"

" So to do that you followed me because?" they were cutting into my breakdown time!

" We wanted to talk to you." Yumi said.

" Why?" I asked.

" Well we THOUGHT you were nice, but you're just as rude as Sissi." Ulrich said.

" Don't compare me to Barbie!" I told him.

" I don't listen to bossy snobs." Ulrich said. My lip began to quiver, accursed tears!

" I'm not a bossy snob." I said, my voice shaking.

" Yeah, sure." Ulrich said. A tear slid down my cheek.

" Ulrich," Yumi said staring at the tear.

" Why are you crying?" I just shook my head. " You act like someone died." That did it, I sunk and openly cried.

" Good going Ulrich." Odd said, he looked at the paper and took me to my room. Then he lay me on my bed and let me cry.

A/N DAMN ANGST! I just have so much of it, I swear, she won't cry in the next chapter, I think. Well, too:

Mrs. Odd Della Robbia, well first, very interesting name, I have a friend that says her friend finds anime dudes cuter than real life ones, but Anyhoo, thanks, I was hoping it was good.

Yumi, thank you, I won't finish it (yet), but I'll add this chapter!

Ally, I'M NOT SCARY WHEN I'M HYPER!

And now I realize, there were like, a billion Inuyasha theme songs, so lets try 'every heart' by BOA!

And I tried to upload this sooner, but fanfic wouldn't let me!


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

The next morning I woke up to the sound of someone knocking on my door. I got up groggily.

" Yeah?" I said opening the door.

" No classes today on account of snow." The head of the girl's dorms said. I nodded and headed back toward my bed I laid there of almost an hour before I gave up and decided to go to the showers. I felt really filthy. I grabbed my robe and went to the showers. I still hadn't unpacked. I turned it to the perfect temperature and stepped in. I was just finishing when I heard the door open.

" She thinks she's so cool because she came from America. I heard she's a real crybaby. She even started crying when Ulrich called her a snob last night." Sissi was outside brushing her teeth. I grabbed my robe and pulled it around me. Then I stepped out.

" No, I cried because he said I was like you." I said opening the door and slamming it behind me. I walked to my bedroom and brushed and dried my hair. Then I changed into regular clothes (black pants, black tank top and a pale green jacket) and sat in my window seat. Out of it I could see a pond. I debated on going out to skate. Before Stewart could drive me to the rink we would use the pond in the woods behind our house, so I knew how to check that it would be safe. I finally decided. I grabbed my skates, a cd player and my cd of songs. I went out and put on my skates then I checked, it was thick enough. I smiled and put the CD in I decided to start with the one I'd been trying to master forever. Angelus by Shimatani Hitomi.

I began and got about a quarter through the song before others came out to see what the music was. I ignored them. I was halfway through before I ended up with my face in the ice.

" AHHHHH! " I screamed and pounded a fist on the ice. Then I skated to the player and changed the song. Then I skated to that. When I finished I grabbed my stuff and headed to my dorms. Odd and the 'gang' stopped me.

" Yes?" I asked.

" That was great, you are really good."

" Well to amateurs or non-skaters I would have seemed good, but a professional would have known that I'm not that good."

" You know, most people would say thank you." Yumi said.

" Wait, we don't have class. You live off campus. Why are you here?"

" I came because I wanted to. Why are you so rude?"

" Because I choose to be."

" But why? We've done nothing but try to be nice to you and you just keep snapping at you."

" I just, don't want to talk about it." I said.

" You can tell us, we just want to be your friends." I bit my bottom lip.

" Fine, but not here." I said and pulled them into my still suitcase filled dorm.

" Last month I was in a car accident. My brother Stewart was in the car, he was killed on impact. Since then or at least until now, I was locked in my room, no one around. I got used to the whole 'if you care about no one you can't get hurt ' thing."

" Well I think unpacking might make you feel better." Aelita said. I smirked.

" Maybe." I said opening a suitcase the first thing I saw was the video camera, Stewart's video camera. Then I remembered. I had been recording the ride home. My eyes grew wide as I opened the little mini tape thing. It was empty. I breathed a sigh of relief. The others looked at me strangely.

" It was my brothers camera." I explained and began to pull out clothes and put them away. Yumi and Aelita helped.

A few hours later they decided to go. I smiled for the first time in a month.

A/N HA! I live; you all gave up on me didn't you. Well with almost 20 people all sharing one computer you don't get a lot of time. I'm working on misty but this one is giving me more inspiration. I need to find a CD that I can use to jump-start my brain on Misty. Well RR!

R/A!

Cynthia Hamilton – I updated and chapter 3 say the theme, beware, I love the song from Inuyasha, so there'll be a lot.


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